Writer’s Bloc and About a trapped poem

Every writer in this world has faced this in his life time at least for once. When he finds himself at a loss of words. When he thinks his creativity has drained out of his veins. He has a deadline to meet but he is word-less, thought-less. His dreams are without any shape and without any story. His muse seems to fail him as he is unable to write.

I am undergoing the same feeling now. When I received a mail stating that I have been given a column in a ‘youth paper’, since then this has stuck me. I have opened my blog site 7 times since that mail. Made 19 drafts.  But of no use. This ‘youth’ word has been stacked deep in the bottom layers of my mind. This question boils up all the time- What youth wants?  When you have seen 27 springs of your life, then you never notice when your self confidence has drape away that you can speak something which can cast a spell on the youth.

But I started my battle with a promise to myself that I will break this oyster with my swords. When you grow older, you develop this tendency to preach young about something, which you deem indispensible. So I succumbed to it, my first draft was titled -“Networking for youth”. What the hell man??? It would have been justified if I would have been writing this article as a part of my MBA assignment but clearly it’s not. Then I thought I should write about philosophy. But there was no dry powder in my depository sitting idle to be spread upon the youth.

A thought about amalgamation of two of my most favorite subjects flashed into my mind, when I was in auto to my way back home. During my undergraduate years, I had loved physics and during post-graduation, I was in love with economics. Today in office, I discussed it with few of my friends and they had the same inclination towards both the subjects. What is the thing which binds both the subjects? What is the common denominator? And before coming out of the auto, I could figure out that the importance attached to the “cause and effect phenomenon” in both the subjects is the common denominator, which binds both from beneath. So I lost another topic of a potential deliberation and hence an article on this theme was aborted shortly.

Drafting and deleting made me restless, so I discussed this with Nupur (my beloved). She is not quite into literature but she wants me to be the next Chetan Bhagat. Adding to my woes, she complains-“You are no more romantic. You haven’t written a poem about me since last month also.” I promised her I am going to write a poem on her soon. Now I remember a small but beautiful poetry by Gulzar (one of my muses) who must have written this under similar conditions as mine.

A poem is trapped inside me.
Metaphors catch at my lips,
words hover like butterflies
never settling on paper.

I have sat for hours writing
your name on a blank page.
Only your name is beautiful.
What other poem can excel it?

My take on this poem: As first stanza hints, Gulzar  was undergoing Writer’s block and he has explained its symptoms, but in the second stanza, he makes a superb comeback and wins the heart of his beloved by saying that My love, to me your name is the most beautiful and the very best verse that I can possibly write. And so whenever I sit down to write something I can’t go beyond putting down your name on a blank sheet. What a classic excuse... May be... or an excellently written genuine praise...you never know...

                                                                                                                          -Amitabh Vatsya

The Journey of the life time..

Sometimes one journey teaches you many things that you cant gather in many experiments.Day before yesterday I had caught a train from Bhagalpur ( my home town) to Patna  to catch a train from there to Mumbai. In spite of my planning of considering 6 hrs of buffer, I was one station behind when the target train  was about to leave Rajendra nagar station(Origin). But giving up is not what I have learnt in this life. That time I realized that it is gonna be a race against time.So I took an auto- rickshaw to two stations ahead.deadline was set at 11:10 AM.

11:10 AM : Auto-valla did a fair job and courtesy to recently made fly-overs, by this time I could reach on the flyover  near Patna Junction, located just above the railway tracks. I stopped the auto and ran over for the stairs. Ran for 200 meters on the railway tracks and reached a platform on which two trains were standing and raring to go. And to my surprise one of them was the train I had reservations in.  I ran for that and the train also at the same time started moving. But I remembered the good old days of glory of Netarhat days where I had ran 200 meters in 26 seconds. And I ran and grabbed the handle of B2 bogey of the train. I looked at my watch. It was 11: 13 A.M.

The journey was a treat. Met few amazing fellows: "Nepal-Naresh" ( sales head of Nepal of Royal Hiegene Care, name courtsey to a teetotaller professor shaeb, our neighbour on side lower), One homonymous ( of my home-name((ghar ka naam), ironic use of the word:P) -Rohan Kumar - Sales head of Bihar in the same company, An MBBS going for taking M.S. exam-Dr. Harshvardhan and last but not the least- "DaruLal Tivary", (you read it right thats what he replied when we asked his name), the bogey attendant.

The whole journey was fun and the  fun was so unexpected and so un-encumbering. We started talking , we shared food, bills and stories. Nepal- Naresh was a senior pro so most of the time he was sharing his stories of life. Though I learnt some ground-breaking truths such as that the weather of Gaya ( a place in Bihar) is very hot because Equator passes through it..: P. But also learnt -How things happen on the sales field, how an HUL Business Leadership Trainee from XLRI has to stick posters on the walls of Bhagalpur for one week (I was hearing it from the horse's mouth ..the trainer -Nepal Naresh.:P)

Lastly I was discussing what should be the critical parameter for lending to a hospital project with Doctor Saheb.(ICICI Bank should foot this train bill :P). The whole journey they used to call me Engineer Saheb, was good to hear ( the whole tution fee of BIT dint go waste :P). As the journey progressed we also availed the services of Mr. Darulal Tiwari. When I waived goodbye to the doctor on CST he said-"Yad rakhna, hospital ki funding ke lie aaunga tumhare pass."

Journeys enriches experiences if we talk and communicate with each other.In the journey of 30 hours the cosyness of birth could attract just 7 hours of our sleep as Nepal Naresh ( a morning person) with tea- cup in his hand woken us up at 6:15 saying- Uthiye Engineer Saheb , 7 baj gye.. Chai peejie.. And went in the lobbey with an Arabi Ajaan(Allah .. ho ..Akbar...) on his mobile phone on speaker..full on..

The Sixth Finger

Last time I wanted to blog was some 2 months back on  above mentioned topic.The plane reason was that I was waitlisted in 3 important finals of Inter B School competitions. Whether the organizers were a Mumbai based PE firm or a public sector  Venture Capitalists or an International body of CFAs they have the common denominator: the affinity for 5.All the three organizers selected top 5 and I was the Sixth guy.

The genesis of the tradition of selecting top 5 lies in the millions year old history of evolution of mankind. Humans have 5 fingers so when ever they  need to shortlist we go for a number easily countable and what could be more easy than counting 5 using fingers.This hangover from past had taken toll on me. Just think.. You wake up and open the inbox and just watch out your name on the first slot of waitlisted candidate then it really pinches. It really culls your spirit of competition if happens three times in a matter of 2 days.

If I analyse the number 6, I found it, highly under-rated. The Sixth sense has no proven biological existence. The Sixth Day was a day of anihilation in the Old Testament. In modern popular culture, 666 is one of the most widely recognized symbols for the Antichrist or, the Devil.Only the Chinese culture percieves it as lucky number.Mathematicians would appreciate- it is the smallest Perfect Number but it has never got its worth. Except Cricket and Ludo, no sports celebrates Six.

To me, Six is the under dog, he is an under achiever who never gets his due. Six is a rebel, an out cast. Six  is  nobody, a destiny's child, a shophomore. Six is an witty out-sider who doesnot follow the herd, he is the person who thinks out-of -box. Six is an avante-garde,someone who dares and doesnot care much about the estsablished notions if these are based on hypocrisy. Six is the John Galt may be or the gamester "Who doesnot play for the money he wins, he doesn't play for respect" (quoting Sting's song). Who play for playing not for winning. Winning is highly over rated, isn't it? Just leaving you here with this thought for some time...for Six days may be.:)